i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I forget how to act sober
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
