You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
