we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
