Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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