Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
