I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
