i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize