Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
