I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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