is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
