So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
