i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Mom said you looked used
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
