Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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