I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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