Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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