He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
