would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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