the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
