So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
