"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
