When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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