i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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