Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
