he told me I talked like a deaf person
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize