yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
