you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
