I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
