I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
