And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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