i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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