I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
