He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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