I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
