y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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