It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
