You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize