just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
