Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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