It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
