how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
