Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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