btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
