i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
