Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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