her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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