No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
