SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
