White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
