What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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