what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
