no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
