No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
