Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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