I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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