Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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