By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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