I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize