Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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