Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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