I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
