im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
