just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
