i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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