Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
