You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
false alarm. still invincible.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
