Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
