just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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