i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
