Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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