Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
