my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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