I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
