just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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