I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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