the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
