you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
