she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
