Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
